I was in the back seat of that bus, literally gazing at her. I was all ears and all eyes. She climbed on the bus and there were people with her. Her first minute conversation with her accompanies saddened me. I didn’t know she was there to farewell her relatives. I had no right to be sad too, I mean come on, a stranger in a bus how much do they mean to you, none ! but this was different. She was different.
She was so sure that I was stealing peeps. I too felt that she also checked me out often. It was like zeroed time. Well there’s chocolate in front of you and you rush for it, your face hits a transparent glass in front of the chocolate. I felt the same. How much I wanted to go and say hi, I feared I would hit a similar glass.
Her father was sick. She was alone and now she had to take care of her remaining family and business too. I figured out these by their talks. How much I wanted to know her, how terribly I wanted to forward my hands for friendship. There were her aunts and uncles, and it was so impossible for me to even get near to her, to tell her that I wanted to be her friend at this hour of her dark days. And to explain the need of this friendship by a smile.
I felt weak, I failed. What’s use of all those bulky novels that you read, or the pages you write when you can’t act when needed. When you can’t even express what you feel, whatever the circumstances are. I could do nothing more than to stare at her helplessly.
Though we couldnt speak, I heard her words. Words directed to me in the form of smiles and winks. I could translate her every notions, those broken smiles that she sent me and told me how tragic her days were and how badly she needed someone to understand her. She was on with her talks and I was there waiting for a miracle.
You are there and you see someone you cant keep your eyes off, you send a gentle smile. Its fine if she ignores you. But when she replies your smile with hers because she knows you cant approach and chat, its worst than a stab in your liver with a blunt weapon.
It was almost ten minutes and my eyes weren’t off her for even some seconds. Then she was turning towards me and talking to her people in a ill direction.
She knew exactly how I was feeling. She was aware of my helpless situation of not being able to start a conversation with this creature full of surprises. Then the engine started. She had to go. She made a face that meant confusion, regression and that blamed time for not letting good things happen.
I sat speechless. I wanted to get out with her, but I couldn’t even move.
We didn’t exchange real words then.
I wasn’t sure it that was happening. I mean how can one fall for a stranger just by the sight and then get blinded in just minutes. I never believed in love stories but that time I had slideshow of all the sad ending movies and stories. I guessed that was it. I hoped if Ariel was real and would help me. I wanted to believe in Genie and angels who make everything possible.
She climbed down the door and then I felt thousand pieces of broken glasses piercing my heart, one by one. I don’t remember whether my eyes were wet but I was sure I was broken before it even started.
It was fifteen minutes and I was in love or what I would say. I couldn’t explain myself what was that, I convinced myself things happen and that’s why love is love, powerful, like the music from Orpheus lyre.
I closed my eyes and then the bus was about to leave the station. My throat was burning and I felt it wasn’t my day then suddenly I heard someone calling through window, I saw her smiling, happily. She stretched her hand to give me a small napkin. It was written,
“if u felt the same, mermaid_sibs@yahoo.com”
Then this was it, and yesterday we had our first date after a month
